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Dear Amy Shelton,

Your husband Dustin Zahn has been cheating on you for some time at a strip club in town, where he goes to spend time with whores in private rooms. I have never serviced Dustin Zahn, but would frequently see him in my workplace waiting on dates, early in the evening. One day I sat with him because I noticed he was wearing a Wolf sanctuary hoodie, and I began talking to him about wolf populations. He stated that he had a friend I would like a lot, who is also an animal lover. He introduced his friend James Charles Link to me soon after. After Jimmy and I started hanging out, he insisted that I pretend like he didn’t tell me that Dustin had a wife. Pretending like you don’t exist was very important to Jimmy. I thought that was all weird since you all have facebooks, but anyway, clearly there is some infidelity going on in your marriage if Jimmy made such a big deal out of keeping everything a secret from you. I see you hang out with your husband and Jimmy a lot. I don’t like it when friends keep important secrets from me. I don’t think Jimmy Link is a very good friend to be doing that to you. I don’t think you should be married to Dustin Zahn if he’s going to be cheating on you with prostitutes at the local dive bar all the time. I’m not sure how either of these yokels expected me to keep quiet about such a thing and simultaneously try to destroy me. That’s silly. I really need to get back to my wonderful doxxing series, Mouse’s Ear Memoirs, and all this nonsense is keeping me from doing that. It is likely my email address and google searches have been hacked in some way, not that I’m too bothered by any of that. Everyone has inconsistent and embarrassing things about themselves. Anyway, Amy Shelton, I just thought you should know. Have a nice day.