Monica Lewinsky

In 2021, FX released a fabulous series about the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal. I wrote an article about the series, around the start of Mouse’s Ear Memoirs. My Lewinsky article definitely needs some editing and clean up, but I’d like to share it here. I don’t know where else to put it. Here it is:

I remember November 4th, 1992. I had a troll collection, age six. Our next door neighbor had a stripper friend named Tammy, who my mother used words like “tramp” and “bimbo” to describe. That was the year my mother celebrated her 30th birthday party with a large bash at our house, a few months before the election. I have a lot of early life memories. One of my memories is my mother excited when Bill Clinton won. I was rooting for Ross Perot during that time, primarily basing my support off of my fondness for Russ Troll dolls, who Ross Perot resembled. Bill Clinton was celebrating on the television that morning of November 4th, with a young fan also named Bill. Bill and Bill were telling the cameras that they were both named Bill, Clinton's ruddy face and fluffy hair singed into my memory for eternity. Many things about the Clinton administration are singed into my memory for eternity, an inevitable outcome of seeing him on the television so often during my formative years. I can't say I've ever cared for Bill Clinton. One person I've vocalized unwavering support for since the 90's is named Monica Lewinsky. FX's series “Impeachment: American Crime Story” brought it all back in a ten-episode run this past Autumn of 2021. While watching each episode, I laughed, I cried, I thought about how the scandal shaped me as a person. Since the 90s, so much of my conversations regarding Monica involved me having to defend her, involved telling people she's a person just like anyone. So much of the media depicted Monica as the contrary. That is why the perspectives portrayed in the FX series are so deeply satisfying. Monica is finally being portrayed properly by the mainstream, with actress Beanie Feldstein in the starring role. So is Paula Jones, Juanita Broaddrick, and the whole of womankind in relation to the Clinton scandals.

I remember seeing Paula Jones on the TV a lot when I was a young child. I remember Paula Jones being a knock-out with her big auburn hair and flashy outfits. She reminded me of one of my Barbie dolls. My mother angrily called her a “bimbo” a lot who was harming Bill Clinton. I didn't know why or what that meant. I didn't know why everybody seemed to hate the pretty lady on the TV. Now I understand that it was victim-blaming rhetoric, misogyny, and slut shaming. Annaleigh Ashford did a great job playing Paula Jones in the FX series, with vulnerability and empathy. The CPAC press conference re-enactment when Paula was being harshly questioned about sexual harassment is particularly painful. The Penthouse modeling re-enactment that she was pressured to do after financial constraints caused by the scandal wrecked her, and her husband's accusations and victim blaming were all a painful reminder of the reality of Paula Jones during the 90s.

Much of the language used on TV during the 90s to describe Clinton's predatory behavior was confusing to me. I did not know what terms like “exposing oneself” and “oral sex” meant. None of my dictionaries or encyclopedias were able to help me out. Back then, I thought the word “subpoena” had something to do with male genitalia. After all, the word “subpoena” was used on the news a lot in conjunction with taboo Clinton topics, and it sounded like it had the word “pee” in it. I instinctively knew that these ladies at the center of the scandals, which the news slandered, were good people. I sensed they were being treated poorly for some reason, and none of that was OK with me. For Halloween in 1998, age twelve, I decided to dress as Monica Lewinsky out of my support for her. It wasn't motivated by mockery or disdain for Monica, rather I thought she looked nice on television and seemed cool in interviews. I didn't understand why it upset or excited certain people in school when I did that, and still was not informed what oral sex was. Molly Shannon was one of my favorite comedians during the 90s. Back when SNL was good, she portrayed characters such as Mary Catherine Gallagher, Sally O'Malley, and of course Monica Lewinsky. I stayed up late watching SNL during that time, trying to decipher what so many terms on the television meant that I didn't understand, trying to understand why Monica's existence was a joke to so many people.

As a teenage girl during the Bush administration (which he stole from Al Gore), perhaps after switching to cable internet from dial-up, I looked up The Starr Report on some search engine like Yahoo or AskJeeves. I read the entire document in detail, and it was then that I understood more fully what was happening during the Clinton administration in previous years. I still didn't think differently of Monica, only more fiercely defended her from the puritanical and misogynist public abuse that she endured. Of course, I didn't know the word “misogyny” yet. I wouldn't learn that word until age twenty, during my 2006 Summer Marxism class at Portland State University, taught by professor Elisabeth Ceppi. The Starr Report was certainly one of the most vulgar things I had ever read at that time, but I did not care, and did not derive excitement out of it. I only wondered what kind of a sick pervert Ken Starr had to be in order to prod so deeply into someone's intimate life like he did. In 1998, Larry Flynt of the Hustler empire offered Ken Starr a job, due to the salaciousness of his prose. It is funny to me that Larry Flynt's Hustler Club in Las Vegas is the first strip club that I ever sued.

Throughout the decades since the scandal, I've checked on Monica, to make sure she was doing OK. I've watched every special or interview she's done. One of my favorites was when Tom Green and Monica Lewinsky went to Ottawa in the year 2000, searching for the perfect fabric for her handbags. It was good to see her out having fun. Her 2002 HBO special, “Monica in Black and White,” was an absolutely superb forum in which she describes her experience and mistreatment to a theater of people. It is also the first time Andy Bleiler, the predator who was Monica's teacher, is accurately discussed as the predator that he is. Previously in the media, the Bleiler issue casted Monica in a slut-shaming manner for being preyed upon by her teacher.

Monica probably wouldn't agree with me on this one, but I've never hated Linda Tripp. I can certainly understand why Monica would. However, I can understand Linda's perspective-- she lost her dream job, she wanted to blow the whistle on a disgusting predatory man in a powerful position, and doxxing Monica was collateral damage to doing what she thought was right in the broader context of trying to stop an abuse of power. Linda was a working class woman who chose a certain path that she thought was right. Monica is from an economically privileged background, and Linda assumed that Monica had the resources to recover. From a class perspective, it bothers me that Monica was able to use a family connection at age twenty-two to get a White House internship, have a sexual relationship with the right person, and have the UN subsequently contact her about a possible job. It makes me wonder how many other people at the UN, or in high profile White House positions, got there the same way Monica did without getting caught.

I was sad when I learnt of Linda Tripp's 2020 death. She was one of the first people I ever heard about secretly recording coworkers to take down the boss. It's certainly been a practice that has benefited me for matters of labor rights. As the years climb, I get sad when I learn about the deaths of every one of the players in the Clinton impeachment scandal, no matter what side they were on. Vernon Jordan is gone, Bill Ginsberg is gone. I think fondly of them like distant relatives lost in the mist, lost in the abyss, if only because they played such an integral role in my childhood years glued to the television, trying to understand them.

In the FX Impeachment episodes, Linda Tripp's character notes that Monica is different from the other victims of Bill Clinton's advances, different than the other victims of Hillary's subsequent character assassinations. As mentioned, Linda states that Monica will quickly recover because of her resources. Linda underestimated the power of the internet, of course. Monica suffered immensely, but one thing Linda was right about was that Monica IS different than the others. Monica is openly liberal, not a Trump supporter like several other victims of the Clintons, and she did not allow Trump to use her suffering as a political ploy in the 2016 presidential election. Monica has publicly stated that she voted for Hillary in 2016. Monica has successfully created a career in anti-bullying activism.

90s star Mira Sorveno is almost unrecognizable in her Impeachment portrayal as Monica's mother, Marcia Lewis. It is poignant to see Sorveno in this FX role, redeeming her career after being blacklisted from roles by rapist Harvey Weinstein, a Clinton supporter who sexually harassed her in years prior. Today, Weinstein sits in prison where he belongs.

Welcome back, Mira. Welcome back, Monica. Please stay a while; your opinions and impacts are valid and important to my aging self, to my inner child, to me and certainly millions more who watched you. In 2014 after Monica returned to the public spotlight in Vanity Fair, her haters tried to silence her. They told her to go away, like the baby boomer misogynists that they are. I'm glad she didn't listen to them.

In episode 9, “Stand By Your Man,” a heartening moment comes after Hillary learns of the Lewinsky affair and still maintains her commitment to attend Bill's birthday celebration at Vernon Jordan's house. Bill tells her she doesn't have to go, but she replies that she sticks to her commitments. She attends the dinner with dignity, just like she attended the Trump inauguration in January 2017 as first lady, just like she has done what she thinks is right her entire life, diligently, dedicated, strong and resilient in the face of humiliation. This series gave me a whole new appreciation for Hillary that I never had before, despite our differences, despite my utter disdain for her. I have been called a shrew, sarcastic, a bitch, many times, just like Hillary. Hillary was correct that the pursuit of her husband's impeachment was a vast right wing conspiracy, even if some of their findings on Bill's sexually predatory behaviors were true. I look back now at the resources, time, and tax dollars that the GOP spent on trying to destroy Bill Clinton, and I bubble over with anger at the time lost during the 90s that could've been spent combating global warming or any number of societal problems. It's not like Ken Starr or the republicans truly cared about Bill's victims.

The series has a delightful and charming amount of political foreshadowing of future events. A photo of rapist Bill Cosby with Vernon Jordan is zoomed in on during the scene in his office when Monica meets him to discuss job prospects. Al Gore was never to become president, even though he won the election, but in episodes 7&8 of the series, there is discussion of Clinton resigning and Gore taking over. It's sad to look back now, knowing about the tragedy of Gore's presidential run. Bin Laden's name makes a debut in episode 7. Bill Clinton's legacy has been tarnished by the notion that he could've stopped Bin Laden before 9/11, if he wasn't so bogged down with his personal life and scandals. However, we know that Clinton tried to kill Bin Laden in 1998.

Episode 9, “Grand Jury,” displays the creepy questions Monica was subjected to, the misogyny that Ken Starr's attorney Karen endured, and the lack of regard for Juanita Broaddrick, who was raped by Bill Clinton during the 1970s. After episode 9 aired last Autumn, Juanita Broaddrick tweeted a fitting quote from Sun Tzu's Art of War:

“If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by.”

When asked on twitter what she misses about the 90s, Monica replied,

“nothing. absolutely nothing.”

If I could use a time machine to go back to 1998 and talk to Monica, I'd say-- Hey girl, we've all been there-- the dude who low key messes around with you and then publicly accuses you of being a stalker-- we've all been there. It'll be rough ahead Monica, but know that you are loved and seen by many. Monica, you can find solace in the fact that the Clintons were booed in Kentucky at a 2021 event, because people no longer believe that Bill Clinton feels their pain like he stated he did during the 90s.

90s baby boomer shitlibs calling Monica and Paula bimbos are fading away. I saw them for what they were when I was a little girl. As someone who has watched Monica develop into the public advocate she is today, I'd just say to her: You're doing great honey, just like I always knew you would. Keep going. We see you, Monica. We're adult entertainers, activists, feminists, and we hate what happened to you-- the media, the Clintons, Andy Bleiler. It wasn't your fault. Leave Monica alone. Leave Britney alone, too. Thank you Monica. Keep going. Don't stop thinking about tomorrow.

Monica. That woman-- that wonderful, brave woman. That woman-- that survivor. That one and only:

MISS LEWINSKY.